Like all good primetime shows, Grey’s Anatomy pumps Christina and Owen’s marriage full of dramarama meaningful debate. Their mutual stubbornness comes out in full force when Christina discovers she’s pregnant, and their squabbles discussions about the future transform into pro-choice debates. Christina insists you don’t compromise on a baby: “This isn’t pizza versus Thai; you can’t “give a little” with a baby. I am saying no.” Owen takes a predictably pro-life stance, asking Christina how late she is and if their baby has hands yet (*yawn*🙄). “Are you getting all life-y on me?” Christina retorts. “You tell me when life begins, I can’t wait to hear this one.”
Owen can’t contain his excitement and his likeability plummets. He thinks the unplanned pregnancy is the solution to their relationship woes. Now that it’s forcing its way into their lives, Christina will surely see she has no choice but to meet the motherhood mandate. Unsurprisingly, strong-willed Christina isn’t budging: “I don’t want one. I don’t hate children, I respect children; I think they should have parents who want them…”
Owen insists: “I want them…I could take a [paternity] leave…It doesn’t have to be your problem, it’ll be my problem. You wouldn’t even —” “What, notice?” Christina cuts him off. “I’m not a monster. If I have a baby I’ll love it.” “That’s a problem we can work with,” Owen laughingly replies.
Their argument highlights the ways people — including and sometimes especially the ones we love most — can be total a**holes belittle the choice to stay childfree. Owen laughs at this choice, reduces it to a scheduling issue, insists it’s immature, and tries to undermine it with pro-life arguments. All the while, he can’t see that some of his own suggestions are ridiculous. Insisting Christina’s life wouldn’t change at all if they were to have the baby just goes to show how little Owen knows about parenthood.
Meredith, Christina’s best friend, tells him as much. She warns him: “the guilt of resenting her own kid will eat her alive.”👇
In yet another famous monologue, Meredith refutes some of the most popular pro-life beliefs out there. Namely, it’s often said that women regret abortions. But Meredith points out that having an unwanted baby can also cause huge regret and emotional pain, both for the mother and the child. Meredith tells Owen that forcing Cristina to go through with this “will almost kill her…[and] it will almost kill your kid.” Ultimately, Owen realizes he needs to support Christina’s decision. Though he looks heartbroken, he holds Christina’s hand as her abortion begins.
Their relationship disintegrates in the aftermath. They refuse to speak about the procedure, referring to the abortion as “it.” This is not to say that abortions ruin marriages. Rather, it shows that the stigma surrounding abortion — and the stigma around the choice to stay childfree — persists. Maybe, if Owen and Christina had felt comfortable talking openly about their choices, this fan-favourite couple would still be together.
Fast forward four years after this season aired to 2015. Olivia Pope, leading lady of hit show Scandal, gets about one minute of airtime devoted to her abortion. We don’t even know she’s pregnant until we see her enter a doctor’s office, don a gown and cap, and stretch out on an operating table for a minimally invasive procedure. Olivia’s abortion certainly doesn’t steal the show; it’s a subplot, at best. And when it’s over, she just moves on with her life.
Much like Christina, Olivia challenges the made-up myth idea that getting an abortion is always a painful, life-altering decision. We don’t see either of them tearfully weighing their options, or having tormented discussions with their partners, trying to figure out what to do. True, Christina argues relentlessly with Owen, but only because she is so sure of her choice. And Olivia doesn’t even tell her partner about the abortion. We certainly never see them regret their choice or wonder, “what if?”
Of course, a few abortion scenes on TV doesn’t mean the procedure is widely accepted all of a sudden. Maybe Christina and Olivia’s scenes changed the minds of a few pro-lifers. More likely, they caused backlash and outrage. After all, that’s why I’m even talking about their abortions in the first place: these were controversial decisions for a mainstream network. That many people found the scenes unacceptable shows just how far we still have to go. Think about it: millions of viewers watch TV shows like Game of Thrones, where almost every episode showcases a pornographic sex scene, or The Walking Dead, where more skulls are crushed than words are spoken. Yet a minute-long scene showing a woman in stirrups is considered newsworthy and scandalous.
Nevertheless, by putting abortion in the spotlight, shows like Grey’s Anatomy and Scandal have taken an important step. They show smart, successful, well-liked women gaining sympathy and approval for what some might call taboo decisions. These depictions comfort the many women who make similar decisions, but are told those decisions are bad or strange. Seeing these stories on TV normalizes them in reality. So, while we may have a long way to go, it’s only by openly talking about abortion that we’ll be able to make it an acceptable choice.
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